I vividly remember the first time I looked in the mirror and absolutely hated the image I saw looking back. I was brand new in the Navy and stationed in Pensacola, FL.
I quickly made it my life’s purpose to sculpt the perfect body and create an image that myself and everyone else would approve of.
I competed in a bodybuilding competition, trained my body for marathons, obsessed about cross fit, and lifted as heavy and hard as I could to prove my worth to others.
Because I couldn’t figure out exactly how to reach the perfection that I was striving for, I sought to fill the void with a family. I sought my husband to validate my worth, and I thought kids would prove my value to the world.
After walking through infidelity early in our marriage, and a diagnosis of unexplained infertility with no known cure, I was left childless and still seeking approval anywhere I could find it.
I sought to find my value with degrees and education, certifications and trainings, job titles, and more. I was left even more empty and couldn’t figure out why the blessing of 4 adoptions didn’t completely fulfill me either.
I loved Jesus and was even saved during a deployment to the Middle East. I wanted nothing more than a relationship with Him, where I could use my gifts to encourage others.
But being a good Bible study girl, coloring pretty in my Bible, and knowing the right things to say continued to leave me falling short of perfection. Why couldn’t I look like “her”, why couldn’t I be as successful as “her”, why won’t my body work like “hers” constantly ruled my thoughts.
I finally realized that I had my priorities out of line. My faith was coming last, while my body was coming first. I was focusing on looking like “her” when I should have been focusing on following HIM. As I worked hard on my heart I started to realign my priorities, change my beliefs, take my thoughts captive, and began the healing process from so many years of toxic behaviors. I stopped pursuing perfection, and I started pursuing God. Through this journey, I finally understood what it was like to walk in the freedom that Christ gave us.
Can you relate to any part of my story? I truly believe this freedom is possible for you too. Through my blog posts, programs, and online coaching I promise you that I will teach you exactly how I did it. If you want to learn how, make sure to sign up below.
- Wife + Mom
- Health + Fitness Coach